A Life Lost...

 On Sunday I came across a post from some friends and classmates showing an obituary for an old friend who I will just refer to as James.  He was 50 years old and I will not get in specifics because it would just be pure speculation.  I cried when I read this.  I considered James a good friend.  He was incredibly talented.  Amazing musician, Artist, and the tile work I saw him do in home renovations were spectacular.  I remember the first day he showed up to our high school in this little bitty town.  He was different but not in a bad way.  James was very closed off until you got to know him.  He had a rough life, not many know what demons he battled in his youth, I do because we spent a lot of time together fighting the same ones.  I remember riding my bike on the country roads to go and hang out with him.  Like I said we spent a lot of time together.  We had a love of music and helped each other with other personal problems.  The first car that he bought was a sweet old impala I believe.  Red, tinted windows, with a thumping stereo system, everything a teenager would ever want.  That was one of the few times I saw him truly happy.  See James was great at putting on that mask, smiling to hide that pain inside.  Most of us these days still do this more than we want to admit.  After graduation we lost contact a bit, but reconnected later through social media.  Music seemed like it was his only peace.  He felt like God had turned His back on him many years ago.  I felt the same at that time.  He continued on his journey until one day it abruptly stopped.  The gut wrenching thing about all of this was this happened almost a year ago.  I had no idea.  I feel terrible that I had started to lose contact with him yet again and now the possibility of speaking to him again I feel is gone forever.  Jesus has commanded us to go and make disciples of all nations.  Take Gods word to everyone and be that light in the darkness.  I did not do this for James, and now because I didn't do what the Lord commanded me to do I am truly afraid that he may suffer for all eternity.  My heart is heavy and I feel that burden of failure, not just to Jesus but James.  Perhaps if I had the courage to approach him about Jesus at least the final outcome could have been different.  I don't know for sure if he had accepted God into his heart and soul, I hope so.  I know for sure that I didn't talk to him about accepting Jesus and His gift of Salvation.  James I am sorry, You will be missed my friend.