More Random Thoughts...

 I will apologize in advance because my brain works on a silly mode most times.  There are many times where random thoughts just pop in there.  Here is one from this morning.  I get up early to start getting ready for work and while I am in the shower I start thinking about Heaven.  More specifically we were never made to dwell in Heaven for all eternity.  This is why after everything comes to fruition in the end times, there will be a new earth created for us to live on.  Now there are going to be people who will get in to Heaven by the skin of their teeth.  I probably fall into this category, I have a lot to fix in my life.  I try to be more Christ-Like in my walk with Jesus, but I find myself failing quite often.  Maybe you do too???  Here is the trick though, don't give up.  We all fail and fall short in most things, and that is ok.  God and Jesus will never give up on you so don't give up on that walk with them either.  Sounds simple right???  Well, it's not, this is something I learn everyday.  Now back to my random thought.  There will be rewards in Heaven for your Good Works, for those of us imperfect people will there be jobs for us to do daily?  This is where I get a little crazy, just a warning.  I wonder if there will be businesses to work for???  Some of the ones I came up with were:

Noah's Arks boat tours

The Burning Bush yard waste removal and mowing service

Pillar of Salt water purification

Christ Construction & Carpentry

Samson Salon

Just a look into the craziness of my mind on a Monday morning.  In all serious though if you have Jesus in your heart help those who need it, forgive those who maybe don't deserve it, Love those who don't want it, be a light in this world of darkness.  Those who don't yet know Jesus or are curious just ask Him to come to you, talk with Him, Trust Him, Believe in Him with your Heart and change your life for good.  I hope you all enjoy these deep dives in to my craziness.  My apologies if you don't.  Have a Blessed day and remember one kind act could change someone's day, maybe their life.  

Don't look back...

 I watch several different pastors podcasts and sermons online.  I am constantly trying to learn all that I can about God.  I enjoy hearing others perspectives on theology.  Some are a little out there, but honestly our interpretation of the Bible is simply that, our Interpretation.  We read the Bible and do our best to convey what exactly the message being relayed is.  Understanding the Bible to me at times is confusing and hard to fully comprehend.  A few days ago I was watching one of these sermons and the pastor said something that I couldn't agree with.  I'm not going to go into details, but it had to do with something that has happened in my past and affects many families in this world today.  This statement upset me enough to respond to him online and of course, no response.  I thought about this for days, and caused some sleepless nights.  Then Sunday came and our Pastor had an amazing sermon on not looking back at your past. Always focusing your aim forward at your target.  That target is God and Jesus Christ.  Being focused on your walk with God, not the things in your past.  After hearing this it gave me the peace I needed.  See, God is a Loving Father and a Teacher in all things.  For me to fully understand this lesson I had to struggle with the weight of my past, and then it being completely lifted from me onto the shoulders of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.  You can do the same thing in your life.  Let Jesus take that weight from your past and feel that relief for the first time.  Remember we weren't even meant to carry that burden.  Let Jesus take the wheel and give up that need for control.  Genesis has the story of Lot and his wife.  The destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah because it was so full of evil and sin.  God saves Lot and his family , but warn them to not look back.  Lot's wife looks back to see the destruction, desiring her old life and God turned her into a pillar of salt for her simply looking back...  Keep your focus on God and moving forward in your walk with Him.  There is nothing in your past that can save you, but Jesus can.  There is nothing in your past that matters, The Blood of Jesus Christ washed that stuff all away  Accept Jesus into your heart, give Him all that weight of your past.  Be free of all that for the very first time.  Don't look back...

Different...

 Remember how I have said that we will all go through stormy seasons???  Currently I am going through one.  This storm is hitting me on all sides, personally, professionally, spiritually.  The enemy is coming at me full force.  There is a very real possibility that I may lose my job in just a matter of weeks because of budget cuts.  I am trying to get ahead of this by applying for other positions at other companies.  I believe yesterday was my 30th no thanks email.  I think I handle rejection as well as anyone , but this is driving my stress levels to all time highs.  I understand that you cannot have anxiety and Faith both at the same time.  I am pushing hard into my Faith in Jesus Christ, but I am getting radio silence again.  No, God doesn't owe me an answer, but anything would be better than silence.  There is an old saying that I use on occasion "Your silence is deafening."  I'm not going to lie, my Faith is being tested big time.  Have you ever found yourself in this position?  I'm sure that many of you have.  I continue to Pray everyday about these situations.  Amy said something to me last night that hit me right in the heart.  She said that maybe what I have been Praying for are the wrong questions to be asking at this time.  She truly is a Blessing from God.  I have talked about changing your perception just a little in other posts.  I need to do the same.  So, I get to my office this morning and turn on my youtube playlist for the day and out of nowhere is the song by Micah Tyler, "Different."  Guess God likes to answer in ways you don't quite expect.  Does this answer my questions about my future?  Nope, but it does show me that I am the one needing to be changed.  Thank You God for that little life lesson.  For anyone who hasn't heard that song you really should listen to it.  Life will happen, and stress is part of that.  Run to God and ask Him to not fix your problems, but to make you different so that you can handle these stormy seasons when they come.  God has a Plan for your life, and he will meet you in that valley to listen and never abandon you.  Remember that when life gets hard.

Different by Micah Tyler

I don't wanna hear anymore, teach me to listen
I don't wanna see anymore, give me a vision
That you could move this heart, to be set apart

I don't need to recognize, the man in the mirror
And I don't wanna trade Your plan, for something familiar
I can't waste a day, I can't stay the same

I wanna be different
I wanna be changed
'Til all of me is gone
And all that remains
Is a fire so bright
The whole world can see
That there's something different
So come and be different
In me

And I don't wanna spend my life, stuck in a pattern
And I don't wanna gain this world but lose what matters
And so I'm giving up, everything because

I wanna be different
I wanna be changed
'Til all of me is gone
And all that remains
Is a fire so bright
The whole world can see
That there's something different
So come and be different, oh

I know that I am far from perfect (oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh-oh)
But through You, the cross still says I'm worth it (oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh-oh)
So take this beating in my heart and
Come and finish what You started
When they see me, let them see You
'Cause I just wanna be different, yeah

I wanna be different
I wanna be changed
'Til all of me is gone
And all that remains
Ooh, is a fire so bright
The whole world can see
That there's something different
So come and be different
I just wanna be different
So could You be different
In me

Battles with yourself are Heavy, Why???

This has been a long time coming for me.  My apologies that this has taken me so long to start writing again.  After losing some dear friends, relationships that crumbled, stresses within my personal life, I have found it hard to find the motivation to do this again.  I have come to the realization that my Battles are extremely Heavy, but why God????  This is a question that I have been praying about daily, multiple times and not feeling like I was getting the answer I was searching for.  There is the first problem, I was looking for an answer that would never come because I wasn't ready for it.  The answer I wanted was not the one that I would eventually receive.  I have come to realize that the reason my battles feel so heavy is because God is using them to make me strong.  To prepare me for what is coming.  The only way to become stronger is to lift something heavy.  The beauty in this is that even though it is heavy, God will not let me lift it on my own, He is there always to help me, all I need to do is ask and he will come meet me in the dirt, right where I am standing, struggling.  You have to go through something heavy in your life so that you will understand just how good God is.  I have asked God for things to become easier.  Then I realized that if things were easy, why would I Pray???  Failing at being in control of everything happening in my life is showing me just how much I have to trust in Him.  Now for all of you that are struggling, please don't lose your Faith.  Being broken and shattered into a million pieces will show you how loving of a Father God is as He puts you back together, better, happier, thankful, and lets not forget stronger.  We would never understand this if we were never allowed to be broken.  Everyone goes through battles, turn to God for help because He has your back.  Praise Him in all situations, good, bad, difficult, or heavy.  

A Life Lost...

 On Sunday I came across a post from some friends and classmates showing an obituary for an old friend who I will just refer to as James.  He was 50 years old and I will not get in specifics because it would just be pure speculation.  I cried when I read this.  I considered James a good friend.  He was incredibly talented.  Amazing musician, Artist, and the tile work I saw him do in home renovations were spectacular.  I remember the first day he showed up to our high school in this little bitty town.  He was different but not in a bad way.  James was very closed off until you got to know him.  He had a rough life, not many know what demons he battled in his youth, I do because we spent a lot of time together fighting the same ones.  I remember riding my bike on the country roads to go and hang out with him.  Like I said we spent a lot of time together.  We had a love of music and helped each other with other personal problems.  The first car that he bought was a sweet old impala I believe.  Red, tinted windows, with a thumping stereo system, everything a teenager would ever want.  That was one of the few times I saw him truly happy.  See James was great at putting on that mask, smiling to hide that pain inside.  Most of us these days still do this more than we want to admit.  After graduation we lost contact a bit, but reconnected later through social media.  Music seemed like it was his only peace.  He felt like God had turned His back on him many years ago.  I felt the same at that time.  He continued on his journey until one day it abruptly stopped.  The gut wrenching thing about all of this was this happened almost a year ago.  I had no idea.  I feel terrible that I had started to lose contact with him yet again and now the possibility of speaking to him again I feel is gone forever.  Jesus has commanded us to go and make disciples of all nations.  Take Gods word to everyone and be that light in the darkness.  I did not do this for James, and now because I didn't do what the Lord commanded me to do I am truly afraid that he may suffer for all eternity.  My heart is heavy and I feel that burden of failure, not just to Jesus but James.  Perhaps if I had the courage to approach him about Jesus at least the final outcome could have been different.  I don't know for sure if he had accepted God into his heart and soul, I hope so.  I know for sure that I didn't talk to him about accepting Jesus and His gift of Salvation.  James I am sorry, You will be missed my friend.  

I Really Don't Know...

 I was watching a show online the other day and a question was raised that they really didn't have an answer for.  The man hosting his podcast had a gentleman on who was catholic.  I am most definitely not catholic but I like to study other religions to see the differences along with similarities.  Doing this allows me to see things on a more broad spectrum and be more hyper focused on my Christianity.  The question asked was simply "What was God doing before Creation, before even creating the Angels?"  I thought this might be the most impossible question to try and even come up with any answer.  The guest thought for a moment and then stated that he doesn't know for sure, but he believes that God was planning creation as a loving father even then.  This answer was perfect.  Think about this for a minute.  God our Creator, Father, Alpha and the Omega, The Beginning and the End was planning our existence before anything.  He loves you so much that He took His time in creating you perfectly out of His Love for you.  God set in motion His Perfect Plan for us all when He never had to, He chose to.  I would ask you today to Chose Him back, Love Him with all your heart, be Thankful for everything in your life.  Everything is a blessing, even having to dig our car out of the snow.  I am thankful that I can still do this.  I now have a throwback to David Letterman Show:  Top 10 Things God could have been doing before Creation:

10. Sleeping Peacefully  (if you have kids you understand this one)

9. Golfing The Cosmos

8. Playing Guitar Hero

7. Sitting in absolute Silence  (Again kids reference)

6. Writing a Perfect Book  A.K.A The Bible.

5. Playing PlayStation 

4. Creating Tik Toks 

3. Sitting on His first created beach

2. Creating a Platypus because why not?

1. Loving us before we existed

I will end this message on this, Firstly if you are too young to know what a Letterman Top Ten list is look them up, Secondly God has Loved you before Creation, Lastly it's not too late to Love Him back.  

A Question Answered...

 I was on my morning walk around campus and it is a beautiful day.  I don't mind the colder weather and absolutely love seeing the moon in the morning sky.  The sun is amazing, but the moon is my favorite thing to look at.  I don't really know why but it just captivates me.  Sorry that was a squirrel moment, so back to the story.  On my way back to my office I ask God a simple but heartfelt question.  "Is my father and sister in Heaven with you?"  My father was never a spiritual man, but the pastor who gave him his last rites said that my father accepted Jesus into his heart and ask for forgiveness of his sins.  I hope that this is true and not a statement of comfort from that pastor.  My sister was a believer in Christ Jesus, but never had that opportunity to repent of her sins before her light was taken from us all.  I also asked God if I am on the right path, and what else can I do to be more like the man you want me to be?  I have never heard that voice in my head giving me the answers or had an Angel appear before me.  If you have had this happen to you then that is a true blessing and be thankful.  As I am getting closer to my office building, I look to my right and see many cars in the parking lot, but my attention is immediately on one.  I focus in on the license plate and is has one simple word on it.  That word was TRUST.  I walk this campus every morning and don't recall ever seeing this car or plate.  So, there is my answer.  Simple yet obvious.  I know all of us are looking for answers to questions, and I would say just take a look around because that answer is probably staring you in the face.  God could slap you in the face but then what do you really learn.  Pay attention and be patient.  God and Jesus love you and will come to you if you ask, but maybe not in the way you would expect.  Questions are answered by our loving Father, but you must also be prepared and open for that answer.  It may not be the one you were really wanting.  Have Faith and Trust in the Lord for those answers, even when times seem bleak.  He has never left your side and will Sheppard you on to the right path always.